“Conflict is a collision between two truths which don’t fit together in one story”.
Dealing with conflict seems quite complex, because of people generally being not capable to handle it. This is absolutely normal and doesn’t embed any other way forward than understanding the risk of getting to a discussion and weighting, on the other side, the opportunity to avoid it. Remember that one of the greatest strategist of the ancient times, Sun Tzu, said that the best general is the one that wins without fighting and after, comes the one that wins through fighting. Not trying to win is not an option.
Not fighting means simply fighting in a different way using all the possible strategies to win without engaging the enemy: does not mean leaving the victory to the opponent, which is what some people do to avoid conflict by being condescending with others ideas, not because conflict should be avoided, but because fearing the discussion or consequences arising or simply as bon ton.
I think that conflict is not always the best option, but in some cases is an option to be considered, because “shuffles” the situation giving the basis for a new startup.
When a change happens, the first reaction is a deterioration in almost everything but then when change is accepted, a new equilibrium is found: the same happens with conflict (happening or not) where every tension brings to a new start.
And that is one of the reasons for which you should decide carefully whether or not is the case that we engage in a conflict. And even when direct conflict is the only solution, you have to think twice to decide if is advantageous to “go to mattresses” the main trigger being your own ability to sustain the discussion.
In a business environment, in my experience, everything can happen but by far conflict needs to be avoided and if happens the only real tip in dealing with it, is not to bring it to a personal level.
I have had many discussions during the time with peers, colleagues and even with my managers, but not once was a personal discussion, rather a factual and business oriented confrontation between different ideas.
