Performance and feedback are activities that can’t be improvised, whether they involve a coaching meeting, a one-on-one meeting, or a difficult conversation. As leaders, we must show our employees that you care about them and that we want the best for them: our job is, also, to support their success. This applies regardless of whether they are our best or worst resources. It’s difficult, however, to balance encouragement with providing feedback that may not be received as positive. These meetings can turn into uncomfortable discussions. Where should you approach the conversation?
The place
Find a suitable place for the conversation. The crucial point is that remains private: feedback of any kind, whether improvement or corrective, is highly personal to the person receiving it. Don’t give corrective feedback in the presence of others.
The content
Think carefully about what you want to achieve in the conversation. This includes the topic or problem, questions to get to the root cause, and possible solutions to reach a fair and shared resolution. Always be specific; neither of you will benefit from having general, vague conversations.
Your employee
Performance evaluations and feedback are essential activities that require careful planning, whether it’s a coaching session, a one-on-one discussion, or a tough conversation. As leaders, it’s our responsibility to demonstrate to our employees that we genuinely care about their well-being and aspirations; our role is to support their success. This commitment applies equally to all employees, regardless of their performance level. Striking a balance between encouragement and constructive criticism can be challenging, as these discussions can become uncomfortable. So, how should you approach these conversations?
The Setting
Choose an appropriate setting for your discussion. For informal conversations, like coaching meetings, consider more relaxed environments such as a stroll outdoors, a lunch meeting, or even a neutral venue. For more serious discussions, an office or conference room would be more suitable. The key factor is privacy: feedback, whether aimed at improvement or correction, is personal and should not take place in front of others. Providing corrective feedback publicly can be demoralizing and damage trust and confidence.
The Message
Take time to consider the objectives of your conversation. Identify the topic or issue at hand, the questions needed to uncover root causes, and potential solutions for a fair and collaborative resolution. Always strive for specificity; vague discussions benefit no one.
Timing is Key
Choosing the right moment for your meeting is crucial. Poor timing can render the meeting ineffective or disrupt the flow of conversation. Ensure both of you have ample time to engage in a thorough discussion and that there are no distractions that could impede your dialogue.
Seize the Opportunity
This is a pivotal moment, regardless of how much preparation you’ve done. Focus on these key points:
A) Disconnect from distractions. Lock your computer screen to avoid emails, place your phone face down on your desk, and silence the ringer. Make it clear to the person in front of you that your attention is entirely on them.
B) Hone your listening skills. Pay close attention to what the employee is saying. Take notes on important words and phrases instead of formulating your response while they’re still speaking. Once they finish, summarize what you’ve heard before responding. Try to avoid interruptions! Taking notes can help with this, ensuring the employee feels valued and acknowledged.
C) Frame the conversation in “discussion mode”: choose your words wisely. Encourage dialogue by asking questions about possible next steps
D) Embrace silence as a tool. After posing a question or introducing a topic, allow for a pause. Wait for a response without rushing. Silence can be uncomfortable, but don’t feel the need to fill it immediately. The person you’re speaking with will feel the weight of that silence and will likely respond. On the flip side, too many silences or pressuring for conversation can hinder meaningful dialogue.
