As managers we have only one precious and complex item to deal with: people.
And we need to put them back at the heart of our planning and actions.
Wherever you may hear on the subject of leadership, you may have noticed how many conversations on this topic take place in the third person? We often see “he / they” (third person) used much more often than “you” (second person) or “me / we” (first person). And this happens regardless of the context. And with little consideration or awareness of the natural and negative consequences it can produce.
When it comes to evaluating leadership, the use of “first person” rarely enters the conversation. And the only time that the “second person” tends to appear is during performance evaluations / evaluations, which unfortunately too often is characterized as a one-way monologue rather than a real conversation.
Because being a leader means taking on personal responsibilities. Even if it’s not easy. And becoming a leader means pursuing an internalized path and not just one for the sake of theoretical knowledge.
In trying to give a dimension to the problem, it is worth mentioning an article by Forbes which reported that every year before COVID times, in the United States 60 billion dollars are invested in leadership development. Yet the title of the article: “The great training robbery” reflects the author’s contention that much of it is wasted.
The main reason is that the list of educational offerings “… is missing the most important ingredient of leadership: emotional energy”, which “… cannot be learned in a classroom or acquired automatically following the promotion. It must be discovered on your own.” And I add, personally, through a sometimes painful and tiring path.
This is only one aspect, albeit a fundamental one: there is much more than just emotional energy when it comes to aspects of real leadership that are “better captured live than taught”.
So what are the relevant characteristics of leadership when dealing with being “personal”?
When it comes to maturing true leadership, characteristics such as the ability to put oneself at the service and being a point of reference immediately come to mind but they should not be neglected, because becoming an authoritative reference, maintaining humility are equally important. And of course as always, be an example. But these characteristics cannot be learned only: they are highly personal aspects of leadership that manifest only through a deliberate and lasting commitment to self-discovery.
Asking whether what we learn about leadership remains only theory or becomes part of our way of being managers (and therefore from the third person to the first to follow the incipit of this news) is crucial to understand if we are at the within a purely academic path or not. But above all to understand at what point of our personal leadership path we find ourselves. Are we looking in the right place and information / ideas to help us make what we learn our own?
Ultimately, we can’t give away what we don’t have. Our commitment to achieving the best leadership is first and foremost a personal endeavor, in which the desire to become someone worthy of being followed is supported by a deliberate plan of action and refinement to learn, change and grow as a leader. And the point of awareness occurs when the third-person knowledge of leadership becomes a first-person trust.
